I am beyond insulted when linkedin 'finds jobs for me' and they're all volunteer opportunities
fuck you I have a mortgage

Anyway could y'all point me towards babbys first binder, wanna know how being svelte suits me and sports bras aren't cutting it

Honestly 5 years was really pushing it, I think 10 will cause me to shrivel into dust and blow away in the wind

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How old do you have to be to be considered a cougar because OKC seems to think I'm at that time in my life and is only suggesting people 10+ years younger than me

Holy shit how could I forget about whiskey, you beautiful disaster beverage

I always close my eyes and shake my head when I hear that split second intake of breath before my dogs start screaming about someone existing outside

frendzo and I started up a terrible bestworst two person book club where we just read stardew vally fan fiction and yell about it to one another

I am having the time of my liiiiiiiife

anti-harassment training videos that trigger PTSD was not what I wanted to do today

I would much rather spend the day listening to book 4 of the Enchanted Forest Chronicles because book 3 actually left a bit of a cliffhanger

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Neutral morning but I still don't want to get out of bed because then I'd have to shower and get dressed and then go to the office and work and working is the last thing I want to do right now

Chatting with a friend helped put in perspective just how creepy it is that a male student feels comfortable addressing me as Mother of Dragons in class is

Man, AFAB people have been trained to put up with so much uncomfortable shit from men from the jump that we can't fully believe it's inappropriate unless someone else sees it too

who wants to FLIRT 

man who'm I kidding rampant unchecked flirting's what got me into this mess

...so who wants to FLIRT!!!

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Thursday is the WORST

especially when I gotta take charge of the lesson for the day, maaaan, don't make me think about responsibility right now, brain, why you gotta be a dick

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dough sauce cheese toppings

put it on the pizza